Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Substitute
Today was cool because my co-op, Susan, had a curriculum writing meeting all day. So I taught all the classes (whereas I normally teach only second period so far). I found myself being more open. I guess this is to be expected, but anyone else feeling this? I'm realizing how restricted I feel while my co-op is there and how I feel like if there's even a hint of wasted time I will be reprimanded. Now just keep in mind that this is not how my co-op is and all these feelings are brought on by my own mind. But I need to get past worrying that I'm not doing well enough or something like that. Does this make sense? Again, Susan is not a mean or oppressive co-op. This is just an in my own mind kind of thing. Anyone feeling me on this one?
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You're not alone in this thinking, Jeff! I question whether or not I'm an effective teacher every single day! I know it sounds like I have zero self-confidence, but it's more like I'm not sure that the students will be able to take the information I'm giving them and implement it on their own. There are days when I feel like the students really get it, but every now and then there is that one day where students look lost. I think this might be new teacher jitters, but I also kind of feel pressured to have the kids succeed on the PSSAs even though I'm not a full-time teacher in the school!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Jeff. I've had the opportunity many times in my classroom to take over completely when Lindsay was gone, and I loved it. I would say that it's just the excitement of getting a preview of how your own classroom will feel in the future. Even though our co-ops are wonderful, the classrooms are still theirs and there is still a level of "them" you have to keep up. It's wonderful to experience that freedom even just for a day.
DeleteSweet, glad I'm not the only one :P I guess the biggest factor, though, would be the quality of your lesson and how confident you feel in it. Crappy lesson=major amounts of pressure and no confidence in front of the kids!
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